Glass Apple - Poll Winner

So after a week of votes, the Apple that emerged as the winner on the poll was "Other"... I don't know what qualifies as an "Other" Apple product, but I would say it's an Apple, that's not made of Apple. Well this one is made of glass! DO YOU PEOPLE HATE ME? WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS? This Apple was not grown, but possibly formed in the depths of hell. It may be pretty, but IT'S TOO HARD. I could not bite this Apple very easily. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO FLAVOR. It's awful. I hurt my teeth really bad. I never want to eat a glass apple again. You people need to put some thought into things before you VOTE! Voting is important. ESPECIALLY FOR APPLES! I DO NOT RECOMMEND EATING A GLASS APPLE. YOU WILL GET HURT MOST LIKELY. MAYBE BLEED OUT. A GLASS APPLE A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR REALLY CLOSE BY.

THIS APPLE GETS A 1 OUT OF 10

Apple Tips! With our Apple Genius, Steve Careers!

Hey Apple fans! I'm Steve Careers, and I'm so excited to share my tip with all of you! My friend Josh is pretty new to the Apple world, so he came to me, an Apple veteran, for help with useful tips to pass along. So here's my tip!

Apples have been around since the 1800's, and have always been praised for being a portable meal at a moments notice! One thing you can do to make them even more portable, is to put them in your pants pocket! I mean look at the picture above... You can barely notice the apple at all! It might put a slight bulge in your pants, but I've always liked the way that looks anyways, so it's a win-win! Anyways, thanks for reading! Can't wait to give you my tip next time! =)

JOSH: "WOW COOL! THANKS STEVE CAREERS! I GIVE YOUR TIP A TEN OUT OF TEN!"

Fuji

This cheap Apple knockoff is not a nice Apple. It was the cheapest one at Wal-Mart. CHEAP DISCOUNT BARGAIN BIN APPLE. I THOUGHT THE JAPANESE WERE BETTER THAN THIS! Maybe though, this is just a natural reaction after just trying the best apple in the world so far, the Golden Delicious. This is only Apple number two on my journey so I will give it a chance I suppose... BUT THE SKIN. IT'S LIKE PAPER. It goes in between your teeth when you bite in, and gets STUCK. LIKE POPCORN KERNELS. Also WHERE IS THE TASTE? It's not very flavorful. Maybe some people like a subtle Apple, but this is as subtle as a snowflake landing on a feather. It's like a whisper of flavor WHICH IS STUPID. YOU MAY AS WELL EAT ICE. OR AN AIR SANDWICH. It doesn't even make any sense because it's SO EXTREMELY JUICY.  I set the apple down on my desk and when I picked it back up, IT LEAKED JUICE EVERYWHERE. Also the flesh is very loud when you chew it! It's a crushing scraping sound, like dumping pebbles into a bucket. NOBODY WANTS A NOISY LEAKY APPLE. NOT ME AT LEAST. I mean, if you like Apples that taste like water, or are looking for a cheap fruit, then this may be your thing. But I would steer clear of this one, Apple fans!

THIS APPLE GETS A 2 OUT OF 10.

Golden Delicious

Let's take it back to the Apple that started it all, for me. I used to hate Apples... YES. I ADMIT IT. I'LL CRY THESE WORDS FROM THE HIGHEST MOUNTAIN. I WAS AN APPLE NAYSAYER. BUT REPENT, AND YE SHALL BE FORGIVEN. Wow... a great burden has been lifted from me. THANK YOU GOLDEN DELICIOUS. I was at a hotel one day, and although I claimed I hated Apples, I was so curious about them. I found a Golden Delicious Apple at the continental breakfast, and I decided to partake... I WAS SO PLEASED. The skin was delicate, and easy to bite into, with a slight snap as my teeth sunk in. The Apple, while not bursting with nectar, was still juicy! It had a nice feeling and sound as I chewed through the soft flesh of the fruit. The taste was so sweet, but not overwhelming, and had the perfect balance of tartness. Had I just stepped into Apple heaven? THE NAME OF THIS APPLE REALLY SAYS IT ALL. Golden? YES! It's the perfect color for this Apple, as it deserves a GOLD MEDAL for being number one in my books! Delicious? POSSIBLY AN UNDERSTATEMENT! Had my taste changed, or have I just been eating the wrong apples!? I'm sure to find out, as I'm going to try EVERY TYPE OF APPLE IN THE WORLD. I wish there was an Apple Store dedicated to selling just Apples, that could help me along on this journey I'm embarking on, but I shall achieve it nonetheless. Wish me luck, fellow Apple fans!
I GIVE THIS APPLE A 10 OUT OF 10